


The Life I Had Before

by hemsglee



Category: Black Panther (2018)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, False Accusations, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-23 11:36:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13786803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hemsglee/pseuds/hemsglee
Summary: The guilt of it all was absolutely eating T’Challa alive.—Everett Ross wears a wedding ring. T’Challa doesn’t want to enable his infidelity, but there’s more to be said about Everett’s relationship with his wife than just the wedding band on his finger.





	The Life I Had Before

**Author's Note:**

> Would you look at that, I’m writing an Everpanther fic with no panther!T’Challa. I’m evolving! I finally saw BP for the second time today and was overcome with muse, so here you guys go! Sorry for the brief hiatus. ♥

The guilt of it all was absolutely eating T’Challa alive.

Whenever he held hands with his boyfriend Everett, he felt the cool solidity of a gold wedding band on the man’s finger. Whenever they sat outside together in the sunshine, the ring would send beams of obnoxiously bright sunlight into T'Challa's eyes (Everett's as well, but the man always seemed unfazed by it like he had long since become used to it). Everett removed it tenderly every night before they slept, and it was always the first thing he reached for in the morning, the second being T’Challa’s face to pull him close and kiss him firmly.

T’Challa hated that he was enabling Everett’s infidelity, but he didn’t know how to confront the man he loved about it. After all, how do you ask the man you've been dating for months why he's been cheating on his spouse for so long with you? T'Challa knew he had missed his window of opportunity months ago to ask his beloved about the ring, but that didn't mean the curiosity had ever died down.

What made it even worse was that T'Challa loved Everett with every single piece of his heart. He couldn't imagine a morning where he wasn't greeted by Wakandan sunshine in his eyes and Everett's lips on the back of his neck, but he knew that Everett's spouse must be wondering where their husband's lips had been all these months. He had no idea what it felt like to know that the person you loved most in the world was out there somewhere, without you beside them at night, wondering if they were staying faithful and whether or not absence really made the heart grow fonder.

T'Challa finally decided he was through playing games the day that Everett misplaced the ring and was looking for it in their bedroom in an absolute _frenzy_.

"I swear, I left it on the desk when I went to help Shuri with her newest invention, where the hell could it have gone?!" he asked himself more than T'Challa, panic alight in his eyes as he threw articles of clothing and pieces of paper around the shared bedroom. If he had lost his cellphone or a cherished token from America, T'Challa would have been on his hands and his knees immediately helping Everett find what he had lost. But instead, T'Challa sat dismissively on the bed and took a deep breath before finally committing to learning the truth.

"Why does it matter where the ring is? You obviously have no interest in being a faithful husband since you've been sleeping in my bed beside me for months now."

Everett's head rose up over the side of the bed to look at T'Challa, the wrinkle between his eyebrows that made appearances whenever he was confused on proud display. T'Challa resisted the instinct to lean over and kiss the spot, instead straightening his back and waiting for Everett to answer his question.

Instead of an answer, T'Challa received a huff as Everett returned to his search for the ring. That was certainly not what T'Challa had wanted to hear, so he tried again in a firmer tone this time.

" _Everett_. Why do you claim to love me as much as you do when the first thing you reach for in the morning is a reminder of the life you had before you came to my country?"

The rustling of papers and clothing stopped once more and Everett sat up straight, eyes trained on the ground in front of him. He ran his thumb along the inside of his finger, where the ring should have been perched were it not lost at the moment. He bit down on his lip and didn't look up from the ground, saying softly "You don't understand, T'Challa."

"What is there for me to not understand? How difficult of a concept do you think the act of adultery is? You are _married_ , to someone that isn't me, yet you continue to kiss me awake in the morning as you wear the ring that promised monogamy between you and another person. How much could you possibly love the person you married if you and I-"

"She _died_ , T'Challa."

A sudden tense silence fell over the two of them, the only sound T'Challa could hear was the roaring of blood in his ears. He looked down at Everett, who still had yet to break the fixed gaze on the tile floor a few feet before him, a wave of bitter shame passing over the king. The thought of Everett being a grieving widower had never even crossed his mind, he had been so quick to assume that Everett was being an unfaithful husband to whoever he had left in America after what had happened in Korea.

"Everett, I-"

"Save it," the agent cut him off, returning to throwing things around the room and making an even worse mess than he had started with. Silently, T'Challa stood and approached his beloved, grabbing both of his hands and cradling them to his own chest. When Everett finally granted him the luxury of eye contact, T'Challa cupped the man's face and ran a thumb along his lover's cheekbone.

Every muscle in Everett's body was visibly tensed, all except those that were on his face, an expression of grief and loss covering every inch of pale skin. T'Challa looked at Everett's face and touched their foreheads together slowly and affectionately, mumbling "Tell me about her."

As if floodgates that were closed for years had been suddenly thrown open, Everett began to speak of his late wife, eyes closed softly and pressing ever closer to T'Challa as he told story after story.

Her name had been Molly. They had gone to high school together but didn't start dating until college. When Everett went off to fight for the air force, Molly had waited for him, and as soon as he came home, they were married. She had passed away seven years ago, of ovarian cancer. Her favorite color had been purple. She worked as a public librarian. She always ordered dessert and ate it first. She was a cat person. She was the first person Everett had told about his bisexuality. Her favorite band was Fleetwood Mac. She had kept her last name when they got married. Everett had loved her with every fiber of his being, and then one day, she was just gone.

T'Challa could do nothing but listen to Everett's soft sobs and shaky breathing as he spoke so highly of the woman he had loved, offering the small comforts of rubbing the man's back and kissing at his temples. When Everett had finished speaking of Molly, T'Challa pulled back just far enough to make comfortable eye contact and wipe away his lover's tears.

"I should have told you sooner," Everett whispered shamefully, eyes welling up with a new wave of tears. "How long have you been laying there next to me feeling guilty about this? Don't lie to me, tell me how long you've been worrying about the ring, T'Challa."

"Since the moment we shared our first embrace," T'Challa admitted quietly, his own shame showing in the way his posture quickly turned from proper to informal. Everett scooted away from him on his knees, pulling his knees up to his chest the moment his back hit the solid wall behind him. T'Challa didn't approach for a while, letting the agent have a bit of space before crawling over to settle beside him.

Everett's head dipped down to rest against T'Challa's shoulder, a few soft sniffles escaping him as his tears finally began to subside for good. T'Challa said nothing as he sat there with Everett, wishing he had more comforting words to offer. He was better at comforting people with actions than he was with words, and he knew this as he reached out and took hold of Everett's hand gently.

Everett turned the light hold into a tight one, squeezing his boyfriend's hand and whispering a few parting words about his wife.

"Near the end, when we both knew she wouldn't make it much longer, Molls told me to move on from her as fast as I could. She told me she wanted nothing more than for me to be happy, and that she would always be watching me, and she would let me know when she had found the one worthy of her husband." Everett shot T'Challa a brief smile before he continued, this time with no tears lacing his words. "When you and I met in Berlin, I swear to God I felt her hand on my shoulder. A little squeeze, barely noticeable, but I felt it, and I knew she meant you were the one for me."

A small smile began to grace T'Challa's face, only spreading wider as he leaned down and pressed his lips to Everett's forehead. Everett leaned into the kiss, pressing one of his own to T'Challa's lips. It was short but full of purpose, and T'Challa didn't protest as Everett moved away to continue his search for the ring.

"Maybe we would find it faster if we _cleaned_ the room instead of just throwing things around and making it an even bigger mess," T'Challa suggested, rising to his own feet and starting to sort things out. Everett sighed but followed his boyfriend's example, putting papers into piles and clothes in baskets to be washed.

After twenty minutes of cleaning and occasional kissing, T'Challa reached under the bed and made contact with something cold and round. Knowing what he had found, he pulled it out slowly and surveyed the simplistic gold band laying in his hand. He turned it over a few times in his palm, marveling at the modest beauty of the jewelry.

T'Challa stood and walked over to Everett, holding his hand out until Everett placed his own in the king's palm. T'Challa pulled the ring up to his lips and kissed it softly before sliding it onto Everett's finger, the agent blushing and smiling gratefully.

"Thank you," he said softly and got up onto his toes, kissing T'Challa lovingly and looking into his eyes for a few beats. T'Challa wrapped his beloved up in his arms, putting his cheek on the top of Everett's head and rocking them both gently where they stood.

"Don't worry, Molly," he whispered to the sky outside their window, Everett tensing as he stood in T'Challa's arms. T'Challa tightened his grip protectively, closing his eyes and rubbing Everett's back as he mumbled "I'll take care of him for you. _Always_."

The king hoped and prayed that he wasn't imagining the soft pressure that suddenly squeezed his shoulder as Everett's arms tightened around his waist.

**Author's Note:**

> Title for the fic comes from “Unintended” by Muse!


End file.
